Max Headroom rants
MH: "God may have made man in his own image, but woman he definitely made from a do-it-yourself kit. All those valves, buttons, nozzles, all that just for producing children, and half the time they don't work. Which is why he probably created gynecologists very shortly afterwards. There must be an easier way. He got it right with birds. They just lay eggs. And they're happy. They sing all day. There's just too many things that can go wrong with women. And that's the point. Woman was an accident. He was actually trying to design a car. Which is why his German one turned out to be fast and efficient, his Japanese one small and neat, and his American one big, noisy, and more temperamental than all the others. Anyway, must go, my date's arrived."
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"Have you any idea how successful censorship is on TV? Don't know the answer? Hmm. Successful, isn't it?"= = = = = = = = =
"Education: wonderful thing. And, contrary to what you have heard, the oldest profession is teaching. Of course, the second oldest is the first thing that everyone wanted to learn about."= = = = = = = = =
"Now, I'm no librarian, in fact, I don't know what star sign I am. But, as a famous person once said, 'You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time.' And as I -- another more famous person -- once said, 'If you don't teach them to read, you can fool them whenever you like.'"
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"Well, most people would agree that censors are a silly breed. In fact, it surprises me how they ever manage to breed at all."
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"Freedom. You know, writers have no freedom on TV. One rude suggestion, and the censors are straight on their back. Not on their back in a rude way."= = = = = = = = =
... and Max's final appearance, in his final prophetic rant:
"As, 'tis Max Headroom here, and I quote from the bard, Shakespeare, a writer: 'The quality of TV is not strained, it dropeth as the gentle ratings dropeth to a very tiny percentage share and, lo, 'tis gone.' Of course, Shakespeare would have loved your rating system. Twelfth Night would have been lucky to have lasted one."
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