A
BRIEF GLOSSARY OF ECOLOGICAL TERMS
Background: I wrote most of this long ago as a PhD student in wildlife
science. I was fed up with how poorly defined are many concepts and
terms in ecology, or how different authors or researchers bend the terms to
meet their immediate preconceptions or needs. I wrote this as a wry,
sardonic, sarcastic, spoof. My inspiration? The wonderful book The
Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Beirce.
This might appeal to -- or perhaps appall
-- a few purist ecologists.
Allele. The Mendelian quark,
assigned whatever properties that grace our mathematics.
Altruism. The granting by the
major professor of second authorship to the graduate student upon publication of
the Master's thesis.
Adaptation. Any of
behavioral, anatomical, physiological, ecological, phenotypic, or genetic
characteristic of an organism deemed to have imparted fitness to its historic,
current, or future environment. Any
square peg that fits the round hole.
Biodiversity. Whatever
organisms of whatever taxonomic levels happen to inhabit whatever geographic
area over whatever time period before or after whatever disturbance events occur
or have not occurred.
Climax. The
final stage of communities developing under conditions of no perturbations that
might otherwise cause deviation from the state of climax.
Competition. The
hypothetical interference of similar or different animals using the same or
different resources at similar or different times. The perennial explanans
of the inexplicable in ecology. Historical
justification for the contemporary dilemma.
Conservation ecology.
See Ecology.
Deep ecology. Cerebral
musings on the striking realization that humans are corporal beings that inhabit
Planet Earth.
Disturbance ecology.
See Ecology.
Ecology. The
study of the interactions through time and space of everything with everything
else. A science based on grand inference, illimitable empirical anecdotes,
abstruse mathematics, and at the most one term that is agreed upon. Explanation
that does not refute observation, and especially vice versa, such as the cock
induces the sun to rise.
Ecotone. The
resonance frequency generated by the mutual striking of two community chords.
Endangered species.
The last day of summer vacation. The
final dollar in the wallet. The last
French fry in the basket. Musical
chairs just before the music stops.
Fecundity. The
contribution made to a population by a female if she is caught. (See
Gross reproduction.)
Feral. The
dog that does not come when whistled at.
Founder population.
Income taxa.
Genetic drift. Alleles
and their progeny afloat in a sea of random swells, that either all drown or all
make it ashore to rule the island. Emptying
the chromosomal feedbag.
Gross reproduction.
[Censored]
Inbreeding. See
Gross reproduction.
Landscape ecology.
See Ecology.
Lek. A
communal courtship area. Cruising
the avian strip.
Microhabitat. The
mouse in the horse's hoof print.
Mimicry. An
ecologist who poses as a geneticist, biologist, zoologist, palynologist,
botanist, mathematician, physiologist, naturalist, or duck hunter, or vice
versa.
Mutation. Deviation
from normal variation of a species that originally arose via mutation.
Natural selection. Choosing
the dish detergent that makes more, and longer- lasting, suds over that that
does not.
Net reproduction. What
birds do when entangled in a mist net.
Niche. The
place where animals hide from ecologists. Whatever
a plant or animal is, does, was, or should be.
Ordination. The
complex mathematical analysis of detailed ecological data by which plant or
animal communities are proven to exhibit characteristics already well known by
fishermen, hunters, birders, and gardeners.
Perturbation. Tomorrow’s
weather. The surprise of a change in
a system in constant change.
Pheromones. Cologne
of the conspecifics.
Polygyny. The
wearing of multiple paternity suits.
Predator. A
plant or animal that ingests something; even autophagy is a form of predation.
Protandry. An
ontogenic demotion in the copulatory hierarchy from a position on top to one on
the bottom.
Publication. Life
after data. A professor of a well-known university, upon commiserating with a
colleague, was heard to remark, "... poor old Farnsworth. He published and
published, but perished
nonetheless."
Saprophage. The
yellow-bellied sapsucker.
Species-area curve. The
ingenious observation that many species inhabit huge areas, only a few species
inhabit a tiny area, and no species inhabit no area.
Subspecies. The
washer left over after the car is reassembled.
Succession. The
noise made by trees falling in the forest when no one is there to listen.
Threatened species.
The condition in which a species – also defined [sic] as a subspecies,
population, distinct population segment, or significant portion of the range of
a species, subspecies, population, or distinct population segment – will be in
peril of extinction if it is not already in peril of extinction (cf. Endangered
species).
Xerophyte. The
settling of an argument by two zeros.
© Bruce G. Marcot